(**Deep, again. Sorreee**)
Goddang! I can blog about life all the livelong day today! I seriously feel like I could write a book about all the layers surrounding me right now, and it will possibly take an Anna Karenina (or so) to make sense of it all. Am I as lost as I feel, and if it's true...is that bad?
Current topics of conversation (with myself)
1. Is the adventure/exploration occurring inside of me greater than the perceived outer adventure/obstacles (connotation depends on the day, blood sugar level, and sleep)?
2. How is that I feel so selfish and self-aborbed when I ponder my inner-workings? Should I dismiss the guilt (if I could)?
3. If I lived "in the moment" and rejected any possible worth of reflecting, would it matter?
My biggest concern right now, and maybe you could help, is a little bit about where I should live my life...and mostly about what I should do with it.
-Do I stay in Austin where the politicians are crazy, the jobs are scarce, the place be crowded, and most importantly be 1000+ miles away from my family?
(Good outdoor scene, lots of music, young people, festivals...good stuff, too!)
-And if I do stay here, I gotta be crafty. I don't mean ric-rac. I mean about securing a job (preferably not JOBS) that give me peace and enough money to able to live in a house that I can have my family visit (and not be 2 inches from the front door), pay my loans, afford my small (and safe) vehicle, buy nutritious groceries instead of BAR-S Franks wrapped in 62 cent generic sandwich bread. I want to find a way to travel, too, since it makes me feel alive. Is it greedy to want a yearly friv vacation? I know Europeans are always jetting off to the Maldives or Canary Island...so that's not at all a freakish request!
Here are things I have honestly pondered pursuing, probably today:
1. Open my own children's art school (home school/extracurric)
2. Enroll in Aveda's school...to make money & be pretty and not feel like a dog face.
3. Go to UT's graduate school for Art Education.
4. Enroll in Avenue 5 and become an esthetician and make people feel loverly!
5. Therapeutic recreation @ACC... using art to help well being!
6. Child Development Certificate @ ACC
7. Dental Hygenist? Don't ask, but it seems caring and $$ and solid!
Please, please, please, I don't want to let myself settle for less! With anything! I need to take purposeful steps, but I don't know my direction (yet). For now, though, everything is great(ish)...and I am hoping for a swift close to the school year! PLZ?!