Tuesday, January 12, 2010

my boys


Today was transformative. I loved today!

I've been substituting recently in conjunction with everything else, and it feels SO GOOD to be in a classroom. Today I subbed in a special ed room for the behaviorally disturbed. Although it was only 4 boys at any given time, a lot was going on.

2 of the boys, I'll call them Juan and John, are both deaf, and neither of their parents sign. My co-teacher said it's plainly child abuse, and I tend to agree. Imagine not being able to communicate with your family.

The boys are strong. They've managed to learn to sign--regardless of being considerably behind in other language skills--and are basically bilingual, and Juan's case, trilingual (with Spanish).

Unfortunately, by 6th grade, both have been caught with marijuana and are visibly upset by being away from their home school, specializing in deaf children. But they're sweet boys deserving of love and guidance...and I wish the very best for him.

Another boy, we'll call him D, seems uncomfortable in his own skin, a little overweight...and dead-set on being a tough guy. During gym, I caught a glimpse of a full deltoid tattoo....on a 14-year-old. He is sensitive, loves to draw, but I fear he has anger issues and wants to validate his manhood, and I fear this will only lead him to more trouble.

Although I was with them a mere 8 hours, I have grown so attached and I've been thinking of them all day--especially during my run when I was trying to clear my head. I wish I could scoop them up and have them live with me...I know it would never work, but that's my instinct.

It's true...I don't know their lives, just being around other peers in similar situations keeps them down...I dunno. They ARE being punished, but their situations, at such a young age, they are forced with adult situations with adolescent minds. Minds that want to prove dominance....but they need brains & heart along with the muscles....

I realized that this is the group I am attached to. The ones with so-called "problems".

I guess I gravitate toward dysfunctional relationships!

That's all for the blurb...random thoughts.

Lost internet last week....erratic schedule. Looking forward to being consistent.

Thoughts on this?


Anonymous said...

Congrats on such a wonderfully meaningfull day!


MacKenzie said...

That is so heartbreaking- parents not learning to sign for their children. That is the troubling thing about teaching special ed, or teaching in general- you fall in love with the kids and they break your heart over and over (either with their behavior or just their situations).